"Learning," "Not Learning," and "Lessons"

High school was easy.  Besides for a few places where math tripped me up, I really never had to work at it.  Even stressful periods seemed to be a breeze back then.  I enjoyed small challenges, like 8-page A.P. History papers and extemporaneous essay and speech contests.  Even among panic attacks and stress and concerns like test scores and college, it all seemed so fun and easy.

Now I'm realizing how hard things really can be.  I have no study skills, and the concept of doing homework ahead of time seems foreign to me.  I used to be the student that waved off everything...the one who got everything done with time to spare.  Now, I'm that student that gets a text with a question about a paper and I respond with, "What paper?"  College is hard, and I didn't do a whole lot to prepare myself for it in high school.  At least, not in the traditional means of developing study skills and time management capabilities.

What I did learn in high school is helping to compensate for that, though.

I learned dedication.  I learned not to give up.  I learned work ethic.  I learned determination.  I learned to follow my passions.  I learned to count on my friends.  I learned to be the best person I could.  I learned these things in classrooms, to a point.  However, most of that education happened outside of my classroom.  It happened when I was caught up in the blur of planning a National Honor Society fundraiser.  It happened when I was tutoring kids during band class, before hopping into my car to make the bus for my soccer game.  It happened when I was dazed into a machine-like productivity in the days before our FFA chapter's first ever awards banquet.  It happened when I was completely overwhelmed with excitement to leave high school, but still found a million and one ways to stay lodged firmly into that community.

I never thought of that as learning.  I thought of it as doing.  I thought of it as fun.

I may not be the best at doing homework.  I may not have superior note-taking skills.  I may not be the 4.0 student I was when I graduated high school, but those other lessons have really kicked in.

And, while I struggle with some things, I'm finding that "hard" doesn't always equate to "bad."  I may sit in the lab working on a project that leaves me completely overwhelmed and feeling defeated, but there are few things that beat the moment when you've realized you got it right.  There isn't much that can replace the feeling of accomplishment that you get when you do something you thought you never would.

It's easy to say this now.  It's easy for me to sit back and say all of the challenges are worth it in the end.  It's simple to think about the end result, and overlook just how emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting the "during" was.  I won't always be able to feel this grateful.

However, in the past few days, and even the past few weeks, I've found myself doing "the impossible" more often.  I never could have done these if it weren't for those lessons I learned when I was busy "not learning."

College will not get easier.  There will always be things that seem impossible for me to do, to handle.  However, as I go, I hope that these instances will continue to make me stronger.  They'll continue to be the lessons I learn when I don't think I'm learning.


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." -- Walt Disney 

Hiatus

Obviously, Cheap Pizza doesn't see too much action anymore. Part of that is because the stresses of college aren't constantly forcing me to re-evaluate life lessons, therefore the constant need to record my findings isn't as significant. Part of that is because I just don't have time.

Cheap Pizza is still the place where my profound "young-professional-slash-student" discoveries will be recorded. However, my home is my other blog, Midwestern Gold.

So, for the summer, Cheap Pizza is on hiatus. That is, unless I experience some random epiphany that I feel I need to record here. If that's the case, I'll type up some randomly emotionally-charged post and publish it here.

Happy summer everyone! And if you still want to catch my musings, rants, opinions, observations, and quirks, check me out on Midwestern Gold.

A Constant State of Transition

I've written blog posts about transition before on here. They're nothing new or special. But there's a reason that change is a running trend on here; this stage in our lives, this late-teen-and-twenty-something era, is designed for us to learn through change. Nothing stays the same, and I'm constantly reminded of that as I settle back home for the summer.

There's a lot of change going on around me right now. I just moved from school back home. I'm switching from my campus job to my summer job back home. I said goodbye to my roommate today. She's from Sweden, and I don't know if I'll ever see her again. On top of that, my parents are selling the house I'm sitting in right now. This is the only home I've ever known, so that is a big change.

We can't fight it, or stop it. It's a natural thing. Not all change happens according to our plans. In fact, most change is unexpected, and in many cases is unwanted. After spending a decent amount of the day crying over farewells with my various European friends (I hung out with a lot of international students this year), I spent the evening forgetting the whole situation. I'm awful at goodbyes. It wasn't until 12:18 a.m. that I hopped onto Facebook one last time to see my roommate's status.

"There's no such place as home.. but where the hell is home? Going back to normal has never been as painful. Cheers to new experiences and new friends!"

It's simple, but it's exquisite. She said it well. At this point in our lives, is there really such as thing as "back to normal?" I mean, come on. In the last two years of my life, more has changed about me than the 18 prior. She's going back to a culture and a country that she's all but trained herself away from. She's facing a change that goes deeper than geography or time zone. I am proud of her for seeing the bright side in the situation, which I can't always do. Even if this wonderful girl and I never speak again, if we lose touch and forget we slept in the same set of bunk beds, at least she left me with one final, lasting lesson.

Change happens, and it can be the best thing to happen to you. It can open doors and bring some unexpected form of prosperity, despite all the negatives it could bear. She hated America at first. She almost went back. Not long ago, she thanked me for convincing her to stay for the duration of the year. The change that had seemed so difficult to start, was suddenly the best thing to happen to her. And now, going back is difficult...but I'm sure it comes with a rewarding feeling.

I don't have to like everything that happens to me during this pivotal point in my life. I don't like that I had the wonderful experience of living with someone for nine months, only to wonder whether or not the friendship will endure. I don't like that my childhood home could become someone else's home in less than a year.

I can't really fight it, and I definitely can't change either fact. But it's a learning experience in the purest form. Tonight, I am tired. I'm emotionally fried for many reasons, and probably a little too mentally wired to sleep well. I have a huge day tomorrow, but I have a feeling that tomorrow night I'll still be saying, "I have a huge day tomorrow." Every day is a huge day, just like no day is really normal.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, change can be hard. It can be downright rotten. "Normal" is just another word for the constant state of transition that people in positions such as mine face. This constant state of transition is scary and hard and can test the strongest person to their limits. That's what makes it great, though. That's what we learn from.

In between wild weekends, stressful finals, and ripping your hair out over the next internship or interview, we do something amazing. In between classes and projects, we learn. We grow up. If that isn't a change worth taking note of, I don't know what is.

The Ever-Dreaded Group Work

During my various internships and volunteer experiences, I've worked with people that I really enjoy. Across different ages, professions, and outlooks, people often have a tendency to come together for something important. However, this isn't always the case.

Over the last week or so, I've found myself in two distinctly different group work scenarios. In one group, we talked about what each member had a knack for and divided work up based on our specific talents and skill sets. It's worked out swimmingly. Everyone is happy and we have a great end-product. We worked together on the things that required a bit more diversity and understood how to complement each other's talents.

It's been an unlikely success story for a college group project.

In another class, I'm facing the opposite situation. The group doesn't communicate well outside of class, and when we are in contact with each other, there isn't much productivity. Group members are trying to micro-manage each other, and tensions have gotten pretty high at points. When nasty e-mails started flying (when we should have calmly talked out these problems during class) I realized how far out of hand things had gotten. We needed to reorganize and cooperate.

A lot of things had to happen for the group to get back on track:

1. We had to put our egos in check. All of us. Myself included. When you get four (or, in many cases, more) people trying to be right all the time, tempers can get high. Working well in a group requires everyone to admit their limitations and own up to the fact that you're generally equals.
2. We had to acknowledge each other's skills. In this particular group, we need to use Adobe programs to make a finished product. I'm the only person with any experience with PhotoShop, which means my contribution has become fairly focused into that area of the project. The other girls in our group have talents spread across writing, organization, planning...not everyone can do everything in the project, but everyone has something to contribute.
3. We had to figure out how to spread the work evenly (as best we could). No one likes to feel excluded, and no one likes to feel like they're doing all of the work. You can't always evenly split it, since everyone's abilities apply to each project differently. However, being shy to responsibility or being a work hog can reflect on you poorly in the end.
4. We had to remind ourselves to smile. We are all stressed out right now. Finals start on Monday and week ten on a trimester schedule is always stressful. I have three large projects due between Friday and Tuesday, and the next few days are going to be very touch-and-go as far as my stress levels are concerned. One of the things I needed to remind myself about was that all of the people I am working with are in the same boat. We are all stressed out right now. So, sometimes the best thing to do is blow off some steam. Laugh, smile, don't be afraid to have fun while you work together. A happy individual generally equals a happy group member. Don't forget that.

Overall, I was reminded of some valuable lessons today about cooperation. Not everyone understands good group dynamics. Most college students don't have the professional and volunteer experiences I have when it comes to cooperation and working together. In fact, I feel very blessed to have these experiences under my belt. In the long run, they'll help me.

Next time you're faced with the task of working with others (especially ones you may not know or haven't worked with before), think about the mindset with which you step into the project. Respect, cooperation, and trust can go a long way. And please, please, please do not resort to sending snobby e-mails rather than sorting out problems in person. That's a wonderful first step towards an unhappy group.

Taking Criticism

I'm studying multimedia, so a big part of my education is through constructive criticism. At times, it can be rough. There are some professors who will take your work and rip it apart bit by bit, piece by piece, until you feel like your very soul has been trampled upon in the form of your hard work and dedication. Really. It gets hard sometimes. The only thing you can do is grin and bear it, though. A lot of the time, you aren't even allowed to defend yourself.

The thing to realize, regardless of how heartless the delivery, the intention is to teach. The process is sometimes very trying. You get the "nicer" profs now and then, but really...sometimes you just want to go hide away in a lonely dark place and cry. It comes with the trade.

You need a thick skin and a sense of humor. Professional criticism is something I've adjusted to. Sometimes when your work is getting ripped apart, you need to be able to find the humor. I'm sitting in an especially harsh Digital Photography critique as I type this, and I'm struck by the change in the students around me. Many of my classmates have never had formal critiques before. In the seven and a half weeks we've been together, there's been massive growth. People talk now. They joke. They laugh. They don't take things personally.

This is something everyone should be equipped with, not just us artists. Sometimes, when life hands you some trial, whether it's criticism or even a personal struggle, a sense of humor and an ability to take a few blows is the best adaptation you can have.

Coming from someone who gets grades for having grace under fire, this really can make all the difference. Humor can be a wonderful coping mechanism, or can be the thing that turns you into a "duck" as my boyfriend would say. (It just rolls right off your back, like water.) So, as I sit here listening to photographs getting ripped to shreds by a very talented but very ruthless professor, I'm reminded of this.

Smile. Nod. And learn. That's sometimes all you can outwardly do.

Disappointment CAN Teach Lessons

Next Tuesday is the Rall Symposium here at North Central College. It is the honors and independent research event that is put on here every year. Earlier in the academic year, I'd been avidly working to get a grant to do personal research. I'd have travelled around the country meeting the leaders of the agriculture in social media movement. The farmers I would have gone to visit are all actually now heavily involved in a not-for-profit organization known as the AgChat Foundation. I didn't know about the Foundation at the time of my early research and proposal, as it was on lock-down until the Foundation's official launch.

Personal life caught up with me. Or maybe just life in general. My first attempt at getting the grant was rejected, and I had to face the reality that I have too many irons in the fire. I needed to focus on me, my health, and surviving college with decent grades. I mean, internships, classes, and my other job(s) are hard enough to balance. I had no right to try and pursue this great opportunity when my GPA is the lowest it's ever been!

If the research plans had worked out, I'd be presenting at next year's Symposium.

Working in the school's Marketing and Communications Department, I've been heavily-involved in a lot of the Rall Symposium prep work. I've been so busy lately that I didn't get to stop and realize how bittersweet it is. I'm sure at this point in my life I couldn't have handled the project, but it's also a bit disappointing that on the 3rd Tuesday of May 2011, I won't be giving my presentation.

Things could be worse. I could be losing my mind right now over a project that I just didn't have the time, resources, and focus for. I could have let down some great people by getting in too deep and messing up what would have been a well-intentioned project.

There's a lesson here. You can't have everything. You can't please everyone. You should never give up on your dreams, but you should be able to sort them into importance. The research trip? It would have been a wonderful opportunity. I've gotten to know the people I was going to be working alongside in my travels, and they're all wonderful people. If I hadn't had the dedication to approach them and talk to them about this project, I probably wouldn't know them as well as I do now, and I'd be missing out. Someday, I might go visit them without having the excuse (or distraction) of a research grant.

Overall, I think the rejection of my project was a blessing in disguise. In the months following the rejection, I've definitely come to terms with the fact that a steady job, and internship, freelance work, and classes are enough to keep anyone busy (even someone who jokes that sleep is for the weak). I don't think I necessarily "lost" any great opportunity anymore. I was just handed opportunities in different forms.

So, am I a little disappointed to sit here coding HTML about an event that I dreamt about partaking in? A little. More than anything, though, I'm grateful. I've learned a lot about my personal boundaries as far as stress and time-management, and I might have never seen that clearly. Besides, there's time for me to do work and research for the rest of my life. I don't need to stack all of it on in my four short years here in college.

A College Kid's Guide to Microwave Meals

I've been meaning to lose some weight. Really, looking at pictures from high school depresses me in regards to my weight. I think every college girl goes through this. Well, recently, I can proudly and honestly say I've succeeded in doing that; unfortunately, it hasn't been through the means I entended. In fact, I should make a conscious effort to pay better attention to my health. You see, I haven't had much time for real food. Meals at the caf are history, at least right now.

Between a 10-15 hour on-campus job (doing Internet Communications work), an Internet Comm internship for Illinois Corn Marketing Board, and my free-lance video job, on top of class...where does food fit?

Well, there's one type of food that I know I can always have time/space/room for. It's easy to eat it in computer labs, classrooms, dining areas, and my dorm room. Microwave meals.

I've spent plenty of time reconnecting with this forgotten friend lately. If it weren't for microwaves, I probably wouldn't eat.

These used to be limited to frozen TV dinners and Spaghettios. No more! I do love Spaghettios, but sometimes you want something that feels more like "real" food. Well, here's my list of favorites. Most of these are straight forward and just require proper administration of water. They're in no particular order.

1. Easy Mac, and Easy Velveeta. These are both wonderful for different reasons. Easy Mac has that classic Mac-n-Cheese feel. Easy Velveeta has a richer, thicker sauce and shell-shaped noodles. I love both, separate but equal. What I also love about these is that you can add stuff. I've done some experimenting, and you can really customize this stuff. Adding veggies, meat (canned or pouched chicken is my favorite) and all types of seasonings. Garlic Easy Mac is surprisingly delicious! When I'm around the dorm room and have access to a fridge/freezer, I like to add fresh or frozen veggies (obviously microwave the frozen veggies) like broccoli.
2. Bowl Appetit. The ones I've tried have been pretty tasty, although they don't seem to microwave as smoothly as some. Part of this problem is probably that the sauce powder is pre-mixed with the noodles, so you don't have quite as much control.
3. Marie Callender's Home-Style Creations. I love these because of the quality. They're surprisingly tasty, and there are plenty of wonderful options to pick from. The idea here is that the carb product (noodles, rice, or stuffing) is microwaved with water and strained out separately. You then warm and add the sauce and meat product, which is in a separate container. I've eaten three or four of these in the last week and have been pleasantly surprised with the quality and taste each time.
4. Hormel ComplEATS. These are closer to the "TV Dinner" style. These highly-preserved meals aren't necessarily perfect, but they're better than nothing. They don't need refrigeration, and it's as easy as taking off the cardboard cover, stabbing the plastic top, and popping it in the microwave. My favorite is the Chicken and Dumpling, but I was definitely not expecting how good the Beef Roast and gravy meal was. You could tell it was real beef, which isn't always the case with microwave meals. The mashed potatoes were a little odd texture-wise, but I was still pleased. Other great options include a variety of stews and "homestyle" meals like Turkey and Stuffing and Chili.
5. Campbell's Healthy Choice Soup. If you can find it in the microwave-safe foam-and-plastic container, that's ideal. Because of the mixture of broth, veggies, and noodles, this is surprisingly filling and can tide you over for longer than you'd expect. You can also go with traditional Campbell's soups. The Healthy Choice selection is a little narrower, but is often lower in sodium and tends to have more "natural" ingredients and fewer preservatives. If you want more variety, just look at the Campbell's range as a whole, and not just the Healthy Choice products. (I know, most college kids are just happy to have food, regardless of this stuff. I just feel that some honesty is needed.)

I know these aren't really the ideal "healthy benefits" foods. They're food, though, and they're easy. They can be stashed in any purse, book bag, or computer bag fairly reliably. (I've never had one bust open in a bag...yet, knock on wood.) Most of these offer some sort of balance between carbs and protein, and some actually do have some nutritional content beyond calories.

The important thing to keep in mind that even if you can't get access to the healthiest food, you DO need to eat. College, work, and social lives at this stage in our lives...well, it's difficult. You'd be amazed where you can find random microwaves on college campuses. More than once, I've found the staff/faculty lounges late at night and used those. Many of our academic buildings have student lounges will microwaves. (My favorite is the Art and Design building, where I've pulled several all-nighters in the last few years. I once spent 12 hours straight working on a painting, with some down time during drying.)

So, there you have it. A poor, starving college kid's outlook on microwaveable food. They're cheap, they don't need refrigeration, and they will fill your tummy. With that out there, I need to head to one of my three jobs.

Good luck on finals, moving home, graduation, and the like. I know at my school, we're buckling down for the final weeks (which is incredibly stressful on a ten-week schedule), but everyone else is either finishing up or done.