Disappointment CAN Teach Lessons

Next Tuesday is the Rall Symposium here at North Central College. It is the honors and independent research event that is put on here every year. Earlier in the academic year, I'd been avidly working to get a grant to do personal research. I'd have travelled around the country meeting the leaders of the agriculture in social media movement. The farmers I would have gone to visit are all actually now heavily involved in a not-for-profit organization known as the AgChat Foundation. I didn't know about the Foundation at the time of my early research and proposal, as it was on lock-down until the Foundation's official launch.

Personal life caught up with me. Or maybe just life in general. My first attempt at getting the grant was rejected, and I had to face the reality that I have too many irons in the fire. I needed to focus on me, my health, and surviving college with decent grades. I mean, internships, classes, and my other job(s) are hard enough to balance. I had no right to try and pursue this great opportunity when my GPA is the lowest it's ever been!

If the research plans had worked out, I'd be presenting at next year's Symposium.

Working in the school's Marketing and Communications Department, I've been heavily-involved in a lot of the Rall Symposium prep work. I've been so busy lately that I didn't get to stop and realize how bittersweet it is. I'm sure at this point in my life I couldn't have handled the project, but it's also a bit disappointing that on the 3rd Tuesday of May 2011, I won't be giving my presentation.

Things could be worse. I could be losing my mind right now over a project that I just didn't have the time, resources, and focus for. I could have let down some great people by getting in too deep and messing up what would have been a well-intentioned project.

There's a lesson here. You can't have everything. You can't please everyone. You should never give up on your dreams, but you should be able to sort them into importance. The research trip? It would have been a wonderful opportunity. I've gotten to know the people I was going to be working alongside in my travels, and they're all wonderful people. If I hadn't had the dedication to approach them and talk to them about this project, I probably wouldn't know them as well as I do now, and I'd be missing out. Someday, I might go visit them without having the excuse (or distraction) of a research grant.

Overall, I think the rejection of my project was a blessing in disguise. In the months following the rejection, I've definitely come to terms with the fact that a steady job, and internship, freelance work, and classes are enough to keep anyone busy (even someone who jokes that sleep is for the weak). I don't think I necessarily "lost" any great opportunity anymore. I was just handed opportunities in different forms.

So, am I a little disappointed to sit here coding HTML about an event that I dreamt about partaking in? A little. More than anything, though, I'm grateful. I've learned a lot about my personal boundaries as far as stress and time-management, and I might have never seen that clearly. Besides, there's time for me to do work and research for the rest of my life. I don't need to stack all of it on in my four short years here in college.

What is "Identity?"

Maybe it's because I work in marketing. Perhaps it's because I have a distant-but-growing obsession with branding. I can't say for certain, but I'm quickly becoming tangled in this task of creating an identity. Who do I want to be? Or, more specifically, what do I want others to see? This is a valuable thing to consider in your career. At this stage in life, it's terrifying to sit and think, "Who am I? What makes Kelly Rivard?"

I'm finding that this is a careful combination of "being yourself" and adaptation. I'm definitely not saying you should run out and create some alter-ego. You shouldn't, by any means, lie about your history or credentials. These should be givens. You never want your identity to be a lie. You need to be who you say you are, whether it's on a resume, or an online account. LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Google Buzz, and various other networking sites can be valuable tools for establishing your professional identity, but they can also be deal-breakers.

This is hard subject for me. My professional interests are pulling me in two very, very different directions. At age 19, I'm contemplating the possibilities of what I'll be doing for the rest of my life.

I know, I'm young. I know my goals can change and that my career could take my places I'd never imagine. But what I do now could influence my opportunities later. If I grab internships in public relations, will it be too late to go to e-commerce later? These questions are common.

For now, I'm going with the flow. Opportunities are finding their way to me. The proactive things I did early on have brought some amazing chances to my doorstep now. I can at least rest assured that I was wise in getting on-the-job experience young.

Going with the flow doesn't make it any less terrifying. I'm shocked at how often I get complimented on how motivated I am, how focused and career-ready I am. I always look at the person talking to me with surprise and confusion. I'm driven, yes. Motivated, yes. But I'm not ready. I'm nowhere near ready. I'm uncertain.

I don't even know who I'm going to be in the work world yet. I may not for a long time. But it's safe to say that I'll cherish the relative safety of college until I have to face the "real" world.

Scarcity

Hi folks!

I know, I've been scarce. I haven't had a whole lot of anything to say lately. Well, actually, that's a lie. I've had plenty to say, but haven't had time to say it. Juggling a job, an internship, a full course-load, my personal life, and my health is tricky. Sometimes you have to prioritize, and Cheap Pizza has not been at the top of the list lately.

HOWEVER, that does not mean the internship world has been barren or empty. No, no, no. I'm shaking things up as best I can.

For starters, I was invited to be a guest on a podcast. That's a big deal, I squealed in excitement when I found out. As far as I know, it can be found here, although I might be lying...I really should find out for sure. Also, while we're recording on February 23rd, I'm not even sure when it's going public. I should look into that, as well. Anyways, apparently I'm going on to talk about the industry from a student's perspective.

I've also been going through binge-emailing sprees lately. The only way to get those internships/jobs/experiences is by pursuing them, and often the first step to it is contact. I just sent emails to six marketing/communications firms in the area. I know I probably won't get any hit backs, but you never know until you try.

Anyways, that's what's going on in the career-development world here. I'm trying desperately to survive the last few weeks of this term without losing my mind; I have two tests on Friday, three final projects due in two weeks, and a proposal for an independent study grant to work on. Things are HECTIC, but that's the life of a college student. (It's also a bit more hectic because we are on a tri-mester system, instead of semesters.)

Priorities. Figure them out. They can make the difference between wasting your time on a pet-project blog, and being the go-getter that will someday rock the career world.

I don't even know if this made sense or not. I'm going to go read about agricultural communications in digital media! Bye!