Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Constant State of Transition

I've written blog posts about transition before on here. They're nothing new or special. But there's a reason that change is a running trend on here; this stage in our lives, this late-teen-and-twenty-something era, is designed for us to learn through change. Nothing stays the same, and I'm constantly reminded of that as I settle back home for the summer.

There's a lot of change going on around me right now. I just moved from school back home. I'm switching from my campus job to my summer job back home. I said goodbye to my roommate today. She's from Sweden, and I don't know if I'll ever see her again. On top of that, my parents are selling the house I'm sitting in right now. This is the only home I've ever known, so that is a big change.

We can't fight it, or stop it. It's a natural thing. Not all change happens according to our plans. In fact, most change is unexpected, and in many cases is unwanted. After spending a decent amount of the day crying over farewells with my various European friends (I hung out with a lot of international students this year), I spent the evening forgetting the whole situation. I'm awful at goodbyes. It wasn't until 12:18 a.m. that I hopped onto Facebook one last time to see my roommate's status.

"There's no such place as home.. but where the hell is home? Going back to normal has never been as painful. Cheers to new experiences and new friends!"


It's simple, but it's exquisite. She said it well. At this point in our lives, is there really such as thing as "back to normal?" I mean, come on. In the last two years of my life, more has changed about me than the 18 prior. She's going back to a culture and a country that she's all but trained herself away from. She's facing a change that goes deeper than geography or time zone. I am proud of her for seeing the bright side in the situation, which I can't always do. Even if this wonderful girl and I never speak again, if we lose touch and forget we slept in the same set of bunk beds, at least she left me with one final, lasting lesson.

Change happens, and it can be the best thing to happen to you. It can open doors and bring some unexpected form of prosperity, despite all the negatives it could bear. She hated America at first. She almost went back. Not long ago, she thanked me for convincing her to stay for the duration of the year. The change that had seemed so difficult to start, was suddenly the best thing to happen to her. And now, going back is difficult...but I'm sure it comes with a rewarding feeling.

I don't have to like everything that happens to me during this pivotal point in my life. I don't like that I had the wonderful experience of living with someone for nine months, only to wonder whether or not the friendship will endure. I don't like that my childhood home could become someone else's home in less than a year.

I can't really fight it, and I definitely can't change either fact. But it's a learning experience in the purest form. Tonight, I am tired. I'm emotionally fried for many reasons, and probably a little too mentally wired to sleep well. I have a huge day tomorrow, but I have a feeling that tomorrow night I'll still be saying, "I have a huge day tomorrow." Every day is a huge day, just like no day is really normal.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, change can be hard. It can be downright rotten. "Normal" is just another word for the constant state of transition that people in positions such as mine face. This constant state of transition is scary and hard and can test the strongest person to their limits. That's what makes it great, though. That's what we learn from.

In between wild weekends, stressful finals, and ripping your hair out over the next internship or interview, we do something amazing. In between classes and projects, we learn. We grow up. If that isn't a change worth taking note of, I don't know what is.

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