Taking Criticism

I'm studying multimedia, so a big part of my education is through constructive criticism. At times, it can be rough. There are some professors who will take your work and rip it apart bit by bit, piece by piece, until you feel like your very soul has been trampled upon in the form of your hard work and dedication. Really. It gets hard sometimes. The only thing you can do is grin and bear it, though. A lot of the time, you aren't even allowed to defend yourself.

The thing to realize, regardless of how heartless the delivery, the intention is to teach. The process is sometimes very trying. You get the "nicer" profs now and then, but really...sometimes you just want to go hide away in a lonely dark place and cry. It comes with the trade.

You need a thick skin and a sense of humor. Professional criticism is something I've adjusted to. Sometimes when your work is getting ripped apart, you need to be able to find the humor. I'm sitting in an especially harsh Digital Photography critique as I type this, and I'm struck by the change in the students around me. Many of my classmates have never had formal critiques before. In the seven and a half weeks we've been together, there's been massive growth. People talk now. They joke. They laugh. They don't take things personally.

This is something everyone should be equipped with, not just us artists. Sometimes, when life hands you some trial, whether it's criticism or even a personal struggle, a sense of humor and an ability to take a few blows is the best adaptation you can have.

Coming from someone who gets grades for having grace under fire, this really can make all the difference. Humor can be a wonderful coping mechanism, or can be the thing that turns you into a "duck" as my boyfriend would say. (It just rolls right off your back, like water.) So, as I sit here listening to photographs getting ripped to shreds by a very talented but very ruthless professor, I'm reminded of this.

Smile. Nod. And learn. That's sometimes all you can outwardly do.

Disappointment CAN Teach Lessons

Next Tuesday is the Rall Symposium here at North Central College. It is the honors and independent research event that is put on here every year. Earlier in the academic year, I'd been avidly working to get a grant to do personal research. I'd have travelled around the country meeting the leaders of the agriculture in social media movement. The farmers I would have gone to visit are all actually now heavily involved in a not-for-profit organization known as the AgChat Foundation. I didn't know about the Foundation at the time of my early research and proposal, as it was on lock-down until the Foundation's official launch.

Personal life caught up with me. Or maybe just life in general. My first attempt at getting the grant was rejected, and I had to face the reality that I have too many irons in the fire. I needed to focus on me, my health, and surviving college with decent grades. I mean, internships, classes, and my other job(s) are hard enough to balance. I had no right to try and pursue this great opportunity when my GPA is the lowest it's ever been!

If the research plans had worked out, I'd be presenting at next year's Symposium.

Working in the school's Marketing and Communications Department, I've been heavily-involved in a lot of the Rall Symposium prep work. I've been so busy lately that I didn't get to stop and realize how bittersweet it is. I'm sure at this point in my life I couldn't have handled the project, but it's also a bit disappointing that on the 3rd Tuesday of May 2011, I won't be giving my presentation.

Things could be worse. I could be losing my mind right now over a project that I just didn't have the time, resources, and focus for. I could have let down some great people by getting in too deep and messing up what would have been a well-intentioned project.

There's a lesson here. You can't have everything. You can't please everyone. You should never give up on your dreams, but you should be able to sort them into importance. The research trip? It would have been a wonderful opportunity. I've gotten to know the people I was going to be working alongside in my travels, and they're all wonderful people. If I hadn't had the dedication to approach them and talk to them about this project, I probably wouldn't know them as well as I do now, and I'd be missing out. Someday, I might go visit them without having the excuse (or distraction) of a research grant.

Overall, I think the rejection of my project was a blessing in disguise. In the months following the rejection, I've definitely come to terms with the fact that a steady job, and internship, freelance work, and classes are enough to keep anyone busy (even someone who jokes that sleep is for the weak). I don't think I necessarily "lost" any great opportunity anymore. I was just handed opportunities in different forms.

So, am I a little disappointed to sit here coding HTML about an event that I dreamt about partaking in? A little. More than anything, though, I'm grateful. I've learned a lot about my personal boundaries as far as stress and time-management, and I might have never seen that clearly. Besides, there's time for me to do work and research for the rest of my life. I don't need to stack all of it on in my four short years here in college.

A College Kid's Guide to Microwave Meals

I've been meaning to lose some weight. Really, looking at pictures from high school depresses me in regards to my weight. I think every college girl goes through this. Well, recently, I can proudly and honestly say I've succeeded in doing that; unfortunately, it hasn't been through the means I entended. In fact, I should make a conscious effort to pay better attention to my health. You see, I haven't had much time for real food. Meals at the caf are history, at least right now.

Between a 10-15 hour on-campus job (doing Internet Communications work), an Internet Comm internship for Illinois Corn Marketing Board, and my free-lance video job, on top of class...where does food fit?

Well, there's one type of food that I know I can always have time/space/room for. It's easy to eat it in computer labs, classrooms, dining areas, and my dorm room. Microwave meals.

I've spent plenty of time reconnecting with this forgotten friend lately. If it weren't for microwaves, I probably wouldn't eat.

These used to be limited to frozen TV dinners and Spaghettios. No more! I do love Spaghettios, but sometimes you want something that feels more like "real" food. Well, here's my list of favorites. Most of these are straight forward and just require proper administration of water. They're in no particular order.

1. Easy Mac, and Easy Velveeta. These are both wonderful for different reasons. Easy Mac has that classic Mac-n-Cheese feel. Easy Velveeta has a richer, thicker sauce and shell-shaped noodles. I love both, separate but equal. What I also love about these is that you can add stuff. I've done some experimenting, and you can really customize this stuff. Adding veggies, meat (canned or pouched chicken is my favorite) and all types of seasonings. Garlic Easy Mac is surprisingly delicious! When I'm around the dorm room and have access to a fridge/freezer, I like to add fresh or frozen veggies (obviously microwave the frozen veggies) like broccoli.
2. Bowl Appetit. The ones I've tried have been pretty tasty, although they don't seem to microwave as smoothly as some. Part of this problem is probably that the sauce powder is pre-mixed with the noodles, so you don't have quite as much control.
3. Marie Callender's Home-Style Creations. I love these because of the quality. They're surprisingly tasty, and there are plenty of wonderful options to pick from. The idea here is that the carb product (noodles, rice, or stuffing) is microwaved with water and strained out separately. You then warm and add the sauce and meat product, which is in a separate container. I've eaten three or four of these in the last week and have been pleasantly surprised with the quality and taste each time.
4. Hormel ComplEATS. These are closer to the "TV Dinner" style. These highly-preserved meals aren't necessarily perfect, but they're better than nothing. They don't need refrigeration, and it's as easy as taking off the cardboard cover, stabbing the plastic top, and popping it in the microwave. My favorite is the Chicken and Dumpling, but I was definitely not expecting how good the Beef Roast and gravy meal was. You could tell it was real beef, which isn't always the case with microwave meals. The mashed potatoes were a little odd texture-wise, but I was still pleased. Other great options include a variety of stews and "homestyle" meals like Turkey and Stuffing and Chili.
5. Campbell's Healthy Choice Soup. If you can find it in the microwave-safe foam-and-plastic container, that's ideal. Because of the mixture of broth, veggies, and noodles, this is surprisingly filling and can tide you over for longer than you'd expect. You can also go with traditional Campbell's soups. The Healthy Choice selection is a little narrower, but is often lower in sodium and tends to have more "natural" ingredients and fewer preservatives. If you want more variety, just look at the Campbell's range as a whole, and not just the Healthy Choice products. (I know, most college kids are just happy to have food, regardless of this stuff. I just feel that some honesty is needed.)

I know these aren't really the ideal "healthy benefits" foods. They're food, though, and they're easy. They can be stashed in any purse, book bag, or computer bag fairly reliably. (I've never had one bust open in a bag...yet, knock on wood.) Most of these offer some sort of balance between carbs and protein, and some actually do have some nutritional content beyond calories.

The important thing to keep in mind that even if you can't get access to the healthiest food, you DO need to eat. College, work, and social lives at this stage in our lives...well, it's difficult. You'd be amazed where you can find random microwaves on college campuses. More than once, I've found the staff/faculty lounges late at night and used those. Many of our academic buildings have student lounges will microwaves. (My favorite is the Art and Design building, where I've pulled several all-nighters in the last few years. I once spent 12 hours straight working on a painting, with some down time during drying.)

So, there you have it. A poor, starving college kid's outlook on microwaveable food. They're cheap, they don't need refrigeration, and they will fill your tummy. With that out there, I need to head to one of my three jobs.

Good luck on finals, moving home, graduation, and the like. I know at my school, we're buckling down for the final weeks (which is incredibly stressful on a ten-week schedule), but everyone else is either finishing up or done.

The Unknown

Fear is common. Fear is normal. It's a natural response to help protect us. It can be fairly useful in many situations. It can also be a hindrance. So, what qualifies as a "healthy level" of fear? Fearlessness can be commended, but can also be considered foolish. Cautiousness and cowardliness are separated only by a thin, blurred line.

The future can be terrifying. The great "unknown" that comes after college, after this year, after this term, after this week...it can be pretty scary. Lately, the future has been a pretty hot topic between my boyfriend and I. The idea of talking about "our" future, our collective future as a single entity, is both scary and exciting.

I feel brave enough to talk about that, but the idea of what I'll do after school is terrifying. I'll work, obviously. But where? For whom? Doing what? Will I like it? Will I have to bite the bullet and suffer through to build and resume' and squeak by? Will it tie into my passions? Will I develop new passions to adjust to it?

The unknown can be terrifying. It can be wonderful and exciting and inspiring. It's supposed to be a little of all those things. The future is unwritten. Plans can be changed in an instant. Flexibility and reactivity can make all the difference.

It's okay to be a little scared. Every college student should be, when it comes to their future. Confidence, faith, hope, and enthusiasm should help counter that fear. What qualifies as a "healthy level" of fear? That's based entirely on the individual. The important thing is to never let it stop you from getting what you want.

It's About Choices

Things have been rocky lately, to say the least. Yet, I'm lucky enough to have people that help me bounce back (or try to) when the road gets a little rough. This time in life is meant for learning lessons. Granted, we spend our whole lives learning, but what we figure out (or don't figure out) now will ultimately influence where our careers start and how they grow.

During a conversation today, a wise man who I'm starting to consider a pretty good friend said, "Kelly, it's about choices." A lot of our conversations have stuck in my mind lately for many reasons, but this line stands out especially.

In four words, he got a message across that has been trying to get through my thick skull for years.

Choose. Prioritize. What matters most? Your health should come first, even if today's corporate world seems a bit too fast for that. And by health, I don't mean avoiding colds. I mean cultivating healthy habits, relationships, and outlooks.

If I had a dime for every all-nighter I've pulled because of procrastination or panic, I'd be on my way to getting my car paid off. After those stressful late nights and caffeine-induced crazes, I always felt drained, exhausted. Was it a smart thing to do? At times it was the only thing I could do. I'm sure many of them were unnecessary, though. I was dumb enough to make that choice, though.

Now, I sit nearing the end of an incredibly stressful week. Some of it, I couldn't avoid. A lot of it was self-inflicted, and unnecessary. This stage of life is going to be stressful, if you do it right. You make so many choices in early adulthood. Some of them are dumb. Some of them require careful establishment of your priorities. A lot of the time, your choices influence you a lot more than you'd think.

So, I leave you with the same advice I got earlier today, during a pretty serious conversation. It's about choices.

You're Only Human

So, I'm sitting here watching pictures transfer from the Nikon D40 that I'm borrowing from the school library, to my MacBook. Even before I look at them, I've filled with a sense of dread. They're awful. At least, the ones that REALLY count are awful. The ones that will be graded are awful. As an over-achiever, this irks me. They are PICTURES. I am an ARTIST. I'm majoring in GRAPHIC DESIGN.

This should come naturally, right?

Well, not everything comes naturally. It's important to recall that. Not everyone who can draw, can paint. Not everyone who can take good photographs can draw. Not everyone who can balance a checkbook can trade stock. Not everyone who can...anyways, you get the idea.

I dread the bad grades. I really do. The 4.0 I had senior year of high school has already lowered considerably since I entered college, and these pictures aren't going to help much. (Luckily, half of the pictures I need to process tonight are for a smaller project that is only 5% of my grade. The other half are for a project that is worth 10% of my grade.)

As a graphic designer and artist, I have to accept the fact that I might not get an A in my digital photography class. Sure, I should try to achieve that, but trying too hard and failing might be worse than accepting my lack of natural talent. No one likes to put their all into something, only to realize it's still not that good. (Especially not perfectionists like me.)

So, I must accept that I am human, and move on.

Next year, I'll be taking design classes. I'll be taking print and digital media classes that will play into my talents a little better. I'm already taking two classes in which I'm getting A's, so I can't let Digital Photography get me down.

After all, I'm only human.

Transition

Here at North Central College, we follow the trimester schedule. We have our first term from mid-September until just before Thanksgiving. We have an optional short term from Thanksgiving until Christmas break called D-term (which I normally opt out of to go home and make money). We have another full-length term from early January until Spring Break in mid-March. Then, our third full-length term is from late March until mid-June.

Each full-length term is 10 weeks long, with three days of finals tacked on the end. So, 10.5 feeks total.

All of the other schools are closing up for the season or start summer classes, and those of us here at North Central are just recovering from mid-terms. Some classes still have mid-terms to take (such as my writing class). Despite the fact that we have another five weeks of class, though, we're in transition. We're getting to that place in the year where students are inconspicuously taking home things they won't be needing anymore. Winter clothes, books they won't read, appliances they won't use. (My coffee-maker is going home with me on Friday, and probably won't be coming back.) Moving back bit-by-bit, weekend-by-weekend, makes the final she-bang less difficult. I'm both dreading and looking forward to moving home. This academic year has been the best and worst of my life. Home is, well...home. There are a million reasons to want to be there. There are a million reasons to want to stay here, too.

This is also symbolic of a bigger transition in life. A friend and I were talking last night after our late-night Wendy's Value Menu binge about life right now, at this very point in our lives. When do Billy and Lauren grow up to be known as William and Laurie? (It's easy for those of us whose names are pretty straightforward. Kelly, for example.)

Change can be difficult. Change can be abrupt. But it wasn't until last night that I realized, truly realized, the slow and ever-ongoing change that's occurred since I wore my cap and gown in May of 2008.

I'm almost done with my sophomore year of college. In a few weeks, I'll turn 20, leaving behind teenage-hood altogether. Shortly after, I'll transition back to my slower-paced life back home. Then, I'll transition to junior year of college, where the professional "you" is expected to further solidify.

In the spirit of all these changes, I've thrown together a slightly more polished, "grown-up" look for Cheap Pizza. Because green pizza is just weird. Cartoon versions of me are cool.