The Unknown

Fear is common. Fear is normal. It's a natural response to help protect us. It can be fairly useful in many situations. It can also be a hindrance. So, what qualifies as a "healthy level" of fear? Fearlessness can be commended, but can also be considered foolish. Cautiousness and cowardliness are separated only by a thin, blurred line.

The future can be terrifying. The great "unknown" that comes after college, after this year, after this term, after this week...it can be pretty scary. Lately, the future has been a pretty hot topic between my boyfriend and I. The idea of talking about "our" future, our collective future as a single entity, is both scary and exciting.

I feel brave enough to talk about that, but the idea of what I'll do after school is terrifying. I'll work, obviously. But where? For whom? Doing what? Will I like it? Will I have to bite the bullet and suffer through to build and resume' and squeak by? Will it tie into my passions? Will I develop new passions to adjust to it?

The unknown can be terrifying. It can be wonderful and exciting and inspiring. It's supposed to be a little of all those things. The future is unwritten. Plans can be changed in an instant. Flexibility and reactivity can make all the difference.

It's okay to be a little scared. Every college student should be, when it comes to their future. Confidence, faith, hope, and enthusiasm should help counter that fear. What qualifies as a "healthy level" of fear? That's based entirely on the individual. The important thing is to never let it stop you from getting what you want.

Transition

Here at North Central College, we follow the trimester schedule. We have our first term from mid-September until just before Thanksgiving. We have an optional short term from Thanksgiving until Christmas break called D-term (which I normally opt out of to go home and make money). We have another full-length term from early January until Spring Break in mid-March. Then, our third full-length term is from late March until mid-June.

Each full-length term is 10 weeks long, with three days of finals tacked on the end. So, 10.5 feeks total.

All of the other schools are closing up for the season or start summer classes, and those of us here at North Central are just recovering from mid-terms. Some classes still have mid-terms to take (such as my writing class). Despite the fact that we have another five weeks of class, though, we're in transition. We're getting to that place in the year where students are inconspicuously taking home things they won't be needing anymore. Winter clothes, books they won't read, appliances they won't use. (My coffee-maker is going home with me on Friday, and probably won't be coming back.) Moving back bit-by-bit, weekend-by-weekend, makes the final she-bang less difficult. I'm both dreading and looking forward to moving home. This academic year has been the best and worst of my life. Home is, well...home. There are a million reasons to want to be there. There are a million reasons to want to stay here, too.

This is also symbolic of a bigger transition in life. A friend and I were talking last night after our late-night Wendy's Value Menu binge about life right now, at this very point in our lives. When do Billy and Lauren grow up to be known as William and Laurie? (It's easy for those of us whose names are pretty straightforward. Kelly, for example.)

Change can be difficult. Change can be abrupt. But it wasn't until last night that I realized, truly realized, the slow and ever-ongoing change that's occurred since I wore my cap and gown in May of 2008.

I'm almost done with my sophomore year of college. In a few weeks, I'll turn 20, leaving behind teenage-hood altogether. Shortly after, I'll transition back to my slower-paced life back home. Then, I'll transition to junior year of college, where the professional "you" is expected to further solidify.

In the spirit of all these changes, I've thrown together a slightly more polished, "grown-up" look for Cheap Pizza. Because green pizza is just weird. Cartoon versions of me are cool.

Back to School

It snuck up on me!

My family can offer testimony of that, as I scurried to get everything organized and packed. I'm kind of shocked at how much I brought home. Well, no...not really. I always over-pack. And it's tricky, because I'm home from Thanksgiving until after New Years. I'm home long enough to need all my personal effects, but not long enough to be considered "moving."

So, 2 laundry baskets, 1 large laundry bag, 1 shower caddy, 1 packed-tight laptop case, and 1 Adidas bag full of all the stuff I needed last night and this morning. I still need to go do my hair and makeup.

This kind of makes me wonder about future internships. If I end up doing any internships in which I have to travel, how will I survive? I would want to bring way too much stuff with me. Granted, my high school's Spanish Club trip to Mexico taught me some valuable travel tips for space-saving and such...but that was 4 years ago and was a VERY different situation.

Taking another perspective at my move back to school, tomorrow is the start of class. I resume office work for the Marketing and Communications department on Wednesday, and I also have mandatory meetings regarding the school-sponsored tutoring I'll be doing this term.

Yeah, I'll be insanely busy. Yeah, I'll probably end up stressed out, but I'll love the feeling of being busy. I'm also going to continuing applying and interviewing for new internships.

Going back to school also draws an end to my winter term at the office. My supervisor had some huge compliments to offer as we cleaned out my office. He commented on my increased independence, and the fact that he barely had to explain anything to me. He said something along the lines that this had been my most productive stretch of time in the office to date. That meant so much to me.

So, here I am, in my bathrobe, getting ready to get all gussied up to go back and catch up with my school friends and the seemingly-alternate life I lead there. I'll miss home, yeah...my family, friends, my boyfriend, my dog, the open spaces...

But it's time to go back. It's just another step in building up my career.