Reflections on My Transition to College

Life throws us curveballs.  That's the way it works.  You play the game, you do what you can to get through.  You plan ahead, but you can't always guarantee that things will go according to plan.

Leaving for college was like that for me.

I chose my school based on gut instinct.  I'd hem-hawed around, avoiding any solid choices, and suddenly decided on an impulse to go to my current institution.  It just felt...right.  Not everyone is lucky enough for their decisions to be that easy.  The only complicating factor I had at the time was a boyfriend who I'd dated since freshman year of college.

To expect that it would be smooth sailing was...idealistic.  And incredibly unrealistic.  It almost felt like a "too-good-to-be-true" situation, and in many ways, it was.  During Freshman Welcome Week, I had the flu, and missed out on some valuable networking opportunities with other first-year students.  I also had the shocking realization that I was the "poor kid on the block."  Coming from a rural background, attending the school primarily on generous scholarships and loan programs, I felt outnumbered.  Many students asked me why I would even have to work, let alone juggle multiple jobs.

Over the last three years, I've learned to be more understanding of the students who come from more...financially-comfortable backgrounds.  It's not their fault, necessarily.  And who knows, maybe all that hard work led to the marketable young professional that I feel I've become, even in my junior year of college.

I didn't anticipate the growing pains that came with building a relationship with a college, especially one so radically different from where I grew up.  Moving from a town of 3,000 people to the wealthiest suburban town in the greater Chicagoland area was a culture shock.  Despite how hard it was, though, I'm glad I'm still here.  I'm glad I stuck it out.  I missed home.  I missed the open spaces of the country.  I missed my family.  I missed my friends.  I missed my dog.  I missed my boyfriend.

However, that builds character.  That overused and cheesy as they term is, I stick by it.  Being away from all the things I held dear helped evolve me into a more capable human being.  It also set me outside of my comfort zone.  I grew.  I gained new experiences.  Mostly, I matured.

So, despite how difficult my transition to my new life in the wealthy west Chicago suburbs was, I'm glad I'm still here, over two years later.  Sitting pretty with a decent GPA and an incredibly bright professional future, I'm glad I did it.  I'm glad I stepped out of my safe zone.

So, if I ever share any advice to any new or future college students, it's this:  don't give up.  Don't let the transition scare you away.  Don't be afraid to be upset, and understand that it's normal.  However, don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do it, and don't tell yourself that you aren't good enough.  In retrospect, the hard stuff makes it even more worthwhile.

Best of luck!

Procrastination, Thy Name is...

I'm a college kid.

Therefore, I'm a professional procrastinator.

You can give me work, a job.  I may hate it, but I'll still follow a worthy time-management schedule for productivity's sake.  If I love it, there will be even less chance of my path diverting.

Give me school-related tasks...homework, studying, group projects, assigned reading...and I will do anything, ANYTHING, to avoid doing it as long as possible.

Good example:

I had a paper due on Monday.
I intended to get back to school on Sunday to work on it from 7 or so, up until it was finished.  I didn't anticipate it going beyond a few hours worth of work.

What did I do instead?

1. I updated my resume.
2. I updated my LinkedIn profile.
3. I took a phonecall from my boyfriend.
4. I got locked out of my dorm room, while my roommate slept inside...she sleeps like the dead.  It took an hour or so to wake her up and get back inside.
5. I chatted with a friend on Facebook.
6. I worked more on my LinkedIn profile.
7. I "reread" the material that the paper was on.
8. I found excuses to take more notes to "prepare" for the paper.

Then, when all other options were exhausted...I wrote.

It took a short period of time, once I actually wrangled my focus and ran out of other things to do.

I think this is a fairly natural occurrence to most members of the college-aged population; even respectable, hard-working, punctual students find a million and one different things to do other than their homework.

There's no real lesson to this post, just some musing over a phenomena that has no true explanation.  With that in mind, I should go to homework...after I clean my dorm room, sit on Facebook for four hours, chat with someone on the phone, run to the store, hit the drive-through, watch Glee, and...well, you get the idea.

"Learning," "Not Learning," and "Lessons"

High school was easy.  Besides for a few places where math tripped me up, I really never had to work at it.  Even stressful periods seemed to be a breeze back then.  I enjoyed small challenges, like 8-page A.P. History papers and extemporaneous essay and speech contests.  Even among panic attacks and stress and concerns like test scores and college, it all seemed so fun and easy.

Now I'm realizing how hard things really can be.  I have no study skills, and the concept of doing homework ahead of time seems foreign to me.  I used to be the student that waved off everything...the one who got everything done with time to spare.  Now, I'm that student that gets a text with a question about a paper and I respond with, "What paper?"  College is hard, and I didn't do a whole lot to prepare myself for it in high school.  At least, not in the traditional means of developing study skills and time management capabilities.

What I did learn in high school is helping to compensate for that, though.

I learned dedication.  I learned not to give up.  I learned work ethic.  I learned determination.  I learned to follow my passions.  I learned to count on my friends.  I learned to be the best person I could.  I learned these things in classrooms, to a point.  However, most of that education happened outside of my classroom.  It happened when I was caught up in the blur of planning a National Honor Society fundraiser.  It happened when I was tutoring kids during band class, before hopping into my car to make the bus for my soccer game.  It happened when I was dazed into a machine-like productivity in the days before our FFA chapter's first ever awards banquet.  It happened when I was completely overwhelmed with excitement to leave high school, but still found a million and one ways to stay lodged firmly into that community.

I never thought of that as learning.  I thought of it as doing.  I thought of it as fun.

I may not be the best at doing homework.  I may not have superior note-taking skills.  I may not be the 4.0 student I was when I graduated high school, but those other lessons have really kicked in.

And, while I struggle with some things, I'm finding that "hard" doesn't always equate to "bad."  I may sit in the lab working on a project that leaves me completely overwhelmed and feeling defeated, but there are few things that beat the moment when you've realized you got it right.  There isn't much that can replace the feeling of accomplishment that you get when you do something you thought you never would.

It's easy to say this now.  It's easy for me to sit back and say all of the challenges are worth it in the end.  It's simple to think about the end result, and overlook just how emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting the "during" was.  I won't always be able to feel this grateful.

However, in the past few days, and even the past few weeks, I've found myself doing "the impossible" more often.  I never could have done these if it weren't for those lessons I learned when I was busy "not learning."

College will not get easier.  There will always be things that seem impossible for me to do, to handle.  However, as I go, I hope that these instances will continue to make me stronger.  They'll continue to be the lessons I learn when I don't think I'm learning.


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." -- Walt Disney 

Hiatus

Obviously, Cheap Pizza doesn't see too much action anymore. Part of that is because the stresses of college aren't constantly forcing me to re-evaluate life lessons, therefore the constant need to record my findings isn't as significant. Part of that is because I just don't have time.

Cheap Pizza is still the place where my profound "young-professional-slash-student" discoveries will be recorded. However, my home is my other blog, Midwestern Gold.

So, for the summer, Cheap Pizza is on hiatus. That is, unless I experience some random epiphany that I feel I need to record here. If that's the case, I'll type up some randomly emotionally-charged post and publish it here.

Happy summer everyone! And if you still want to catch my musings, rants, opinions, observations, and quirks, check me out on Midwestern Gold.

A Constant State of Transition

I've written blog posts about transition before on here. They're nothing new or special. But there's a reason that change is a running trend on here; this stage in our lives, this late-teen-and-twenty-something era, is designed for us to learn through change. Nothing stays the same, and I'm constantly reminded of that as I settle back home for the summer.

There's a lot of change going on around me right now. I just moved from school back home. I'm switching from my campus job to my summer job back home. I said goodbye to my roommate today. She's from Sweden, and I don't know if I'll ever see her again. On top of that, my parents are selling the house I'm sitting in right now. This is the only home I've ever known, so that is a big change.

We can't fight it, or stop it. It's a natural thing. Not all change happens according to our plans. In fact, most change is unexpected, and in many cases is unwanted. After spending a decent amount of the day crying over farewells with my various European friends (I hung out with a lot of international students this year), I spent the evening forgetting the whole situation. I'm awful at goodbyes. It wasn't until 12:18 a.m. that I hopped onto Facebook one last time to see my roommate's status.

"There's no such place as home.. but where the hell is home? Going back to normal has never been as painful. Cheers to new experiences and new friends!"

It's simple, but it's exquisite. She said it well. At this point in our lives, is there really such as thing as "back to normal?" I mean, come on. In the last two years of my life, more has changed about me than the 18 prior. She's going back to a culture and a country that she's all but trained herself away from. She's facing a change that goes deeper than geography or time zone. I am proud of her for seeing the bright side in the situation, which I can't always do. Even if this wonderful girl and I never speak again, if we lose touch and forget we slept in the same set of bunk beds, at least she left me with one final, lasting lesson.

Change happens, and it can be the best thing to happen to you. It can open doors and bring some unexpected form of prosperity, despite all the negatives it could bear. She hated America at first. She almost went back. Not long ago, she thanked me for convincing her to stay for the duration of the year. The change that had seemed so difficult to start, was suddenly the best thing to happen to her. And now, going back is difficult...but I'm sure it comes with a rewarding feeling.

I don't have to like everything that happens to me during this pivotal point in my life. I don't like that I had the wonderful experience of living with someone for nine months, only to wonder whether or not the friendship will endure. I don't like that my childhood home could become someone else's home in less than a year.

I can't really fight it, and I definitely can't change either fact. But it's a learning experience in the purest form. Tonight, I am tired. I'm emotionally fried for many reasons, and probably a little too mentally wired to sleep well. I have a huge day tomorrow, but I have a feeling that tomorrow night I'll still be saying, "I have a huge day tomorrow." Every day is a huge day, just like no day is really normal.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, change can be hard. It can be downright rotten. "Normal" is just another word for the constant state of transition that people in positions such as mine face. This constant state of transition is scary and hard and can test the strongest person to their limits. That's what makes it great, though. That's what we learn from.

In between wild weekends, stressful finals, and ripping your hair out over the next internship or interview, we do something amazing. In between classes and projects, we learn. We grow up. If that isn't a change worth taking note of, I don't know what is.

The Ever-Dreaded Group Work

During my various internships and volunteer experiences, I've worked with people that I really enjoy. Across different ages, professions, and outlooks, people often have a tendency to come together for something important. However, this isn't always the case.

Over the last week or so, I've found myself in two distinctly different group work scenarios. In one group, we talked about what each member had a knack for and divided work up based on our specific talents and skill sets. It's worked out swimmingly. Everyone is happy and we have a great end-product. We worked together on the things that required a bit more diversity and understood how to complement each other's talents.

It's been an unlikely success story for a college group project.

In another class, I'm facing the opposite situation. The group doesn't communicate well outside of class, and when we are in contact with each other, there isn't much productivity. Group members are trying to micro-manage each other, and tensions have gotten pretty high at points. When nasty e-mails started flying (when we should have calmly talked out these problems during class) I realized how far out of hand things had gotten. We needed to reorganize and cooperate.

A lot of things had to happen for the group to get back on track:

1. We had to put our egos in check. All of us. Myself included. When you get four (or, in many cases, more) people trying to be right all the time, tempers can get high. Working well in a group requires everyone to admit their limitations and own up to the fact that you're generally equals.
2. We had to acknowledge each other's skills. In this particular group, we need to use Adobe programs to make a finished product. I'm the only person with any experience with PhotoShop, which means my contribution has become fairly focused into that area of the project. The other girls in our group have talents spread across writing, organization, planning...not everyone can do everything in the project, but everyone has something to contribute.
3. We had to figure out how to spread the work evenly (as best we could). No one likes to feel excluded, and no one likes to feel like they're doing all of the work. You can't always evenly split it, since everyone's abilities apply to each project differently. However, being shy to responsibility or being a work hog can reflect on you poorly in the end.
4. We had to remind ourselves to smile. We are all stressed out right now. Finals start on Monday and week ten on a trimester schedule is always stressful. I have three large projects due between Friday and Tuesday, and the next few days are going to be very touch-and-go as far as my stress levels are concerned. One of the things I needed to remind myself about was that all of the people I am working with are in the same boat. We are all stressed out right now. So, sometimes the best thing to do is blow off some steam. Laugh, smile, don't be afraid to have fun while you work together. A happy individual generally equals a happy group member. Don't forget that.

Overall, I was reminded of some valuable lessons today about cooperation. Not everyone understands good group dynamics. Most college students don't have the professional and volunteer experiences I have when it comes to cooperation and working together. In fact, I feel very blessed to have these experiences under my belt. In the long run, they'll help me.

Next time you're faced with the task of working with others (especially ones you may not know or haven't worked with before), think about the mindset with which you step into the project. Respect, cooperation, and trust can go a long way. And please, please, please do not resort to sending snobby e-mails rather than sorting out problems in person. That's a wonderful first step towards an unhappy group.

Taking Criticism

I'm studying multimedia, so a big part of my education is through constructive criticism. At times, it can be rough. There are some professors who will take your work and rip it apart bit by bit, piece by piece, until you feel like your very soul has been trampled upon in the form of your hard work and dedication. Really. It gets hard sometimes. The only thing you can do is grin and bear it, though. A lot of the time, you aren't even allowed to defend yourself.

The thing to realize, regardless of how heartless the delivery, the intention is to teach. The process is sometimes very trying. You get the "nicer" profs now and then, but really...sometimes you just want to go hide away in a lonely dark place and cry. It comes with the trade.

You need a thick skin and a sense of humor. Professional criticism is something I've adjusted to. Sometimes when your work is getting ripped apart, you need to be able to find the humor. I'm sitting in an especially harsh Digital Photography critique as I type this, and I'm struck by the change in the students around me. Many of my classmates have never had formal critiques before. In the seven and a half weeks we've been together, there's been massive growth. People talk now. They joke. They laugh. They don't take things personally.

This is something everyone should be equipped with, not just us artists. Sometimes, when life hands you some trial, whether it's criticism or even a personal struggle, a sense of humor and an ability to take a few blows is the best adaptation you can have.

Coming from someone who gets grades for having grace under fire, this really can make all the difference. Humor can be a wonderful coping mechanism, or can be the thing that turns you into a "duck" as my boyfriend would say. (It just rolls right off your back, like water.) So, as I sit here listening to photographs getting ripped to shreds by a very talented but very ruthless professor, I'm reminded of this.

Smile. Nod. And learn. That's sometimes all you can outwardly do.